Follow the flow

I knew from more then 2 months that my apartment contract would have expired at the end of October, but I didn’t act to search for a new apartment or to renew the contract.
I didn’t want to think too much about it because I know myself: I would have started to think what to do, if to stay or not in Barcelona and at the end I would have been too agitate for the rest of the time.

I thought: “No stress, no panic, I take my time, something will happen”.
I simply broke my normal attitude to organize everything straight on and I decided not to think about it, although this would have implied to be homeless from the end of October.

I really like my apartment. I still remember when I saw it for the first time. It was love at first sight. When the door opened I had to close my eyes because the light was too strong and surrounded everything. It was completely empty and the white walls reflected the light. I had the feeling I was in heaven… And then the wonderful view from where I could see the entire horizon reminds me of the view from my flat in Peking. For all this elements I decided to move there, although was too far from work and not in a central area.

The first week of October, after my homecoming from my first “Hands around the world tour” I decided that I would have liked to extend the contract. Only the idea to have a kind of “commitment” for 1 year more scared me a bit. Do I really want to stay for so long? Something inside me was struggling!

Before coming to Barcelona I said to myself: “I will stay here one year and then I will move somewhere else following my instinct, for sure I will know a bit more what I want and what I am looking for!”
One year is gone but the “natural feeling” for taking a big decision is still not there. I need more time!?!

The only choice was to call the agency and to say that I was interested in renting the flat. I did it but they told me that I could have got an answer about its availability only after the 22nd.
It was more complicated then I thought and the feeling to be homeless from the end of the month started to push my mind. A kind of nervousness, anxiety and stress assaulted me. I was in panic!!!
I really didn’t want to search for a flat because I would have to spend too many energies looking around, and for me packing, preparing all my stuff has always been a kind of “ritual” for a big move: from Italy to Germany, from Germany to China, from China to Germany, from Germany to Spain… But now? From Barcelona where? In a new flat? Better to move somewhere very far away!

This decision would have implied many other choices: leaving the country, leaving my job, leaving my comfortable life and routine. Did I really want to do it? Maybe not but I was much more prepared to do it than to search for a new flat!
Maybe it can sound unusual to worry too much for finding a new flat, but who has never searched for a decent flat in Barcelona could not understand what I mean: it’s just to look for a needle in a haystack!

For 2 days my mind was questioning “Should I stay or should I go?” The idea drove me crazy!
I broke again my normal attitude to plan everything and I decided not to think about it: something will happen!
I decided to wait for the agency answer and in the middle time maybe a new flat or a room would have come to me…

And the new flat came to me without searching…
A friend of mine has decided to leave Barcelona from the 1st of November and she asked if I was interested in renting her room. I said yes!

I remembered what Rosalie, a 65 years old lady who was sitting next to me on the bus from New York airport to Manhattan, told me: “Everything is timing!”

On my “Hand of the day” background picture there is the paint of the Taiwanese artist “Yeachin Tsai”. The symbol 隨緣 literally means “Follow the condition”, but we can say “Follow the flow”.
It is necessary not to struggle too much against the problems. As the universe finds always its own armony, every choice, although it brings to a different path, at the end it’s always the right one for reaching the balance!

For a “Plan Lady” as I am it’s a bit hard to “Follow the flow”; I am starting to understand how to deal with it just now.
The path is long, it’s hard, but it is like a new journey and what I know and what I am realizing day per day is that I like to go… wherever, but to go…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *